


A Crabapple A Day...

by Czaritsa (RomaStache)



Series: Red Velvet Reel [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, Doctor's appointment, Established Relationship, I'm very bad at tags I am very sorry if i should tag anything please let me know ;;;, Iatrophobia (Fear of Doctors), M/M, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slice of Life, Spicyhoney - Freeform, Swearing, monster pregnancy, skelepreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 17:25:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14675913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomaStache/pseuds/Czaritsa
Summary: As the Underground’s only general practitioner, Dr. Undyne has sworn a sacred oath to treat her patients to the utmost of her ability and with discretion, empathy, and sensitivity. From seasonal cases of Magicitis to Boss Monster Obstetrics, no challenge has ever kept her from completing her Hippocratic duty.And no challenge ever will! Not even her best friend’s terrifyingly intense iatrophobic spouse who really, really really doesn’t want to go in for his first prenatal appointment!





	1. Phobia

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so very much for your support for this project so far! I'm so grateful for your comments, kudos, and support! <3
> 
> This story will feature a prenatal medical checkup (eventually...), but Monsters have very different pregnancies and illnesses, so their procedures and diagnostic equipment are also very different. These are all my personal headcanons and interpretations of how the videogame dynamics could be expanded to cover Monster Reproduction.
> 
> I will include appropriate warnings in the author's note at the beginning of each chapter and detailed chapter summaries so you'll know what to expect! Thank you for reading~!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stretch and Edge go to their first prenatal appointment- and Red and Blue tag along. Edge is having a really, really bad time and Stretch manages to help him calm down- it helps that Red realizes he's going in for a check-up too and starts freaking out too. They end up arguing and semi-fighting, arguing in the waiting lobby until the Doctor FINALLY shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phobia: The extreme and irrational fear of an object or situation; the complete opposite of philia
> 
> Chapter Warnings:  
> Swearing, Brief Violence and Mentions of Violence, Iatrophobia (Fear of Doctors,) Very Mild Emotional Hurt and Comfort.  
> Nothing much! I'll tag whatever you need me to tag!

“Stretch...”  
  
  
Edge would forever deny he whined, but that is exactly what he did. Stretch might have found it endearing if his patience wasn’t running so thin.  
  
  
“It’s easier to just go along with it,” Stretch said  as gently as he could, flipping the page of the magazine on his lap. He only looked up from the colorful ads when he felt a hand on his forearm, trying to look reassuring, “Hang in there, champ.”  
  
  
Edge came the closest to pouting Stretch had ever seen. It was adorable, but Edge shoved his face away as though he heard what he was thinking. After a few moments of very pointed glaring, keeping his hand on Stretch’s face like a particularly obnoxious cat, Edge pulled him close enough to start whispering again.  
  
  
“Why is your brother still _here?!”_ he hissed, eyeing Blue with tangible disdain. Stretch gave him a flat look, gesturing at Red who was seated next to Blue. Edge gave and angry huff even as kept a tight grip on his husband’s arm, “I don’t want _him_ here either. I’m not sure what part of ‘Piss off and die’ he misunderstood-“  
**_  
  
“Fine,_** Fine,” Stretch threw the magazine on the table, making a move to stand up, “I’ll send them on their very merry way if it’s really bothering you _that much._ It’s not like-“  
  
  
He cut himself off when he Edge kept a stubborn grip on his arm, preventing him from standing up. He sighed irritably, giving his arm a little shake, “What has gotten _into_ you? You want them gone, but you don’t? What _do_ you want?”  
  
  
Edge didn’t seem to like his tone, giving him a reproachful look as he let go of his arm and settled back down like a sulky child. He gripped the arms of the chair hard enough the plastic started to creak, saying so quietly Stretch almost didn’t catch it, “To ** _not_** be here.”  
  
  
Stretch was beginning to realize that Edge’s restless energy was anxious distress. As much as he tried to pretend it was annoyance, Blue and Red were just convenient targets.   
  
  
“Oh.” Stretch stared at him for a long moment, unsure of what to do. Edge shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms as he jiggled his leg restlessly.  
  
  
_“What?!_ Weren’t you leaving? What the fuck are you-?”  
_  
  
Raspberries!_ In a moment of inspiration, he grabbed Edge by the waist and bodily dragged him onto his lap.   
  
  
“Hey!” Edge elbowed him in the chest, hard, struggling against the arms locked around him.  
  
  
“Ow!”  Stretch winced as Edge started to press down on the joints of his fingers, creating a pain that was quickly becoming unbearable. His voice was a low, threatening growl, “Paws off! I _will_ hurt you-“  
  
  
Red looked up sharply, eyelights disappearing as he barked out, “Knock it off, Pap!”  
  
  
Edge froze, as if confused about where he was, and Stretch took his opportunity. “Pancake,” He wheezed, unclasping his hands to rub at his chest. He left the other resting on Edge’s leg, fingers loose and open. Edge seemed to breathe a little easier, no longer feeling as trapped. “Wanted Pancake. Sorry.”  
_  
  
“Don’t-“ _ Edge let out a shaky breath, gently grabbing his husband’s hand to massage the abused joints. He looked down at the fingers with something akin to misery, voice tight like he was holding back tears, “Don’t apologize! It’s _me!_ ...It’s always me. I almost- I could have- I’m so-“  
  
  
Stretch pulled Edge into a hug, tucking his face against his chest to give him a little privacy as Edge curled his arms around his neck, tight and desperate. He rubbed soothing circles on his back, concerned and unsure what to do, looking to Red for help. Red looked equally unsettled by the alarmingly open display of vulnerability, shrugging with palpable anxiety.  
  
  
Blue stood up suddenly, stretching his hands above his head, “These chairs are so bad for your spine! Especially shorter ones like ours, huh, Red?”  
  
  
Red looked at him oddly, glancing between him and Stretch several times. “Are you fuckin’ serious right now?!”  
  
  
“Absolutely!” Blue grabbed him by the arm with surprising strength, pulling him off of his chair and dragging him towards the door. He pushed Red into the hallway, shutting the door behind him loudly. Blue’s voice was pleasant but firm, petering out as the walked further away, “Physical health is _never_ a joking matter! We’ve got no- _body_ to disagree with, mweh heh heh! Don’t give me that look- you don’t even have any eyes!”  
  
  
Stretch waited until it had been quiet for a several seconds, running soothing hands down Edge’s back and all along his spine. He pressed a series of kisses along his skull, whispering, “You’re all out of sorts, huh? You feeling ok, darlin’?”  
  
  
“No, I’m too cognizant and alert-” Edge shook his head as an almost incomprehensible torrent of muffled words started to come out, “I’m sorry- I could’ve hurt you- I’m so sorry-“  
  
  
“Come on now,” Stretch said gently, rocking them both ever so slightly, “It’s my fault too. I should have asked you first. I’m sorry I startled you.”  
  
  
Edge shook his head again, grip becoming tighter as he burrowed his head further into his husband’s chest. “Inexcusable.”  
  
  
Stretch let out an unhappy sigh, changing the subject, “Pancake’s really doing a number on you, huh?” He rubbed Edge’s hip with one hand, stroking down his spine with the other. “As their magic’s developing, they’re throwing yours all out of whack. Mood swings and morning sickness are par the course, but they really suck. I wish I could take them away from you, give them to someone else- like Black. Or that guy next door with the big van he can’t park. Why does he own such a big car if he can’t even drive it?!”  
  
  
Edge didn’t laugh, but he did relax marginally.  
  
  
“And as if all these things weren’t enough, Pancake’s projecting their anxiety onto you too! Baby’s first doctor visit is awful, I know.”  
  
  
Stretch shifted so he had one hand resting on Edge’s ectomagic, gently petting the Souling inside. “It’s ok, baby,” he cooed softly, feeling his husband shift slightly, “I know it’s scary- I don’t like doctors much either. But this Doctor is really good! She’s actually one of my best friends, and she opened her clinic today, on her day off, just so she could meet you!  VIP treatment there, Pancake. All she wants to do is check you out, make sure you’re getting everything you need. Gotta make sure you’re gonna be as strong as your Dad, you know?”  
  
  
Edge put his hand on top, intertwining their fingers. Stretch continued earnestly, nuzzling Edge, “Your Dad has to get a checkup because of you too, you know, and you don’t see him fussing. He has even _worse_ experiences with Doctors, and look at how brave he’s being. Your giving him a bad case of the jitters, so please settle down. I know you can do it, P. I’ll getcha a little sweet something something if you do.”  
  
  
He gave the souling one last pat, letting their joined hands rest on the ectomagic lightly. Edge kept his head on Stretch’s shoulder, eyes closed and looking... maybe not relaxed or content, but certainly less stressed out.   
  
  
“How was that? Pancake settle down?”  
  
  
Edge brought the back of Stretch’s hand to his mouth, planting a loving little kiss and keeping it there as he nodded. Stretch  felt his heart swell with warmth, “It was the bribe, wasn’t it? They got a sweet tooth too, huh?”  
  
  
“I think,” Edge started, with obvious affection, “It was all _you_ , actually. Papa is a very calming, reliable presence. It’s hard to be afraid when he’s so supportive and reassuring, and Pancake wants to make you proud. They love you very much.”  
  
  
“Yeah?” Stretch felt giddy, resting his cheek against his husband’s forehead as he looked down at the covered ectomagic in wonder. “How do you know what Pancake’s thinking?”  
  
  
Edge laughed softly, “They tell me, obviously.”  
  
  
“Obviously,” he echoed back.  
  
  
“I’m serious!” Edge picked up on his incredulity, playfully pinching him, “Cravings are their way of saying their missing some nutrient. Fatigue is saying they need more magic and I should slow down. They react to your presence positively, which must mean they like having you around. It’s certainly not _my_ doing.“  
  
  
“Really?!” Stretch sat up in excitement, making Edge grudgingly follow suite, “What does that mean ‘positively,’ like- like- they can tell when I’m not around? They miss me? _My baby misses me?!_ Oh! Ohhh~!”  
  
  
Stretch started talking more quickly, “Do they feel happy? Just this feeling contentment like, ‘Yay Papa’s back’? Or is this more of a physical thing, like they… wiggle? Can they wiggle? Oh my god! You would tell me if they could wiggle, right? You wouldn’t keep that a secret- Yeah, course not- oh, like a glow, do they glow-“  
  
  
Edge’s eyes had turned to regard the door halfway through his questions, looking like he was debating getting back in his original chair or staying where he was.  
**  
  
“I don’t care!** I could literally care less about how you feel about the special effects! In fact, I agree, they suck! Absolutely terrible!” Blue certainly got loud when he was angry, standing right outside the door, “But if you claim Picard is BETTER than Kirk, it _will_ come down to blows. And you better believe I’m not going to hold back.”  
  
  
“Tchhh!” Red sucked on his teeth loudly, “Yer taste’s ‘badly gone where no one has gone before,’ ya delusional ass.”  
  
  
Someone knocked. “Hey-“  
  
  
“Who’s there?!” Stretch wasn’t about to let a knock knock joke opportunity pass him by, visibly vibrating with excitement.  
  
  
Blue said very quietly, “I was not prepared for this.”  
  
  
“Sucka!” Red called out loudly instead, and Edge rolled his eyes at the glee in his voice.   
  
  
Stretch didn’t miss a beat, “Sucka who?”  
  
  
“Sucka dick, bitch, ‘n _open up!”_  
  
  
Stretch laughed incredulously as Blue opened the door, looking incredibly irritated. “That wasn’t even clever.“ He shook his head, standing in front of Stretch and holding out two bottles of water, “I’m so sorry I ever said anything about you humor, Papy. The bar _can_ go lower, it seems.”  
  
  
Stretch put both hands together as though in prayer, looking incredibly solemn. “Error of your ways learned have you?” He said in his best Yoda impression, relishing the incredulous, disgusted look he got back. “Han Solo best captain is, yes. Fly circles around Kirk and Picard he could.”  
  
  
Blue tented his hands, looking like he was in physical pain as he pushed them against his face. “I don’t have words,” he started slowly, closing his eyes, “ I just...” he trailed off with a shuddering sigh.  
  
  
“Tie breaker vote?” Stretch asked cheerfully, turning towards Edge. Blue looked at him with a mixture of trepidation and curiosity.  
  
  
Edge took both water bottles with a dip of his head, “Jet Black. Cowboy Bebop.”  
  
  
Blue threw up his hands and sat back down, picking up a magazine, “I should have known! I don’t even know who that is, but fine- you’re _all_ wrong and have **bad taste.”**  
  
  
Red sat back down in his chair, shaking his head and picking up his newspaper again, “Goddamn nerd.”  
  
  
Edge bristled, _“You’re_ arguing for Captain Picard, and _I’m_ the nerd??”  
  
  
“Could ya, like, NOT make another fuckin’ scene?” Red made a tongue for the sole purpose of licking his finger, flipping the large newspaper he was holding with gusto, “Can’t take ya fuckin’ anywhere.”  
  
  
Blue gave an unconvinced hum, resting his chin on his hand as he flipped through his magazine, “We’ll see how relaxed _you_ are when it’s your turn.”  
  
  
Red whipped his head around so quickly his vertebra audibly popped, sockets wide and mouth twitching erratically between a grimace and a strained smile.  
  
  
“The fuck that mean, Baby Blue?” When Blue just winked with a coy little shrug, Red’s smile took on a slightly manic quality.   
  
  
“FUCKIN’ HELL-“ Red tried to throw the newspaper down, sputtering indignantly as it stuck to his fingers. He grabbed Blue by the front of his shirt, dragging him upright as he started shaking him roughly. _“FUCK YA MEAN?!”_  
  
  
“Could you like, not make a scene?” Stretch parroted back with the same intonation, tugging Edge closer. _“Doc_ you know how to behave in a doctor’s office?”  
  
  
Red turned a terrifying glare in his direction, making Stretch very glad Edge was acting like a barrier between the two of them. Blue still had his head lolled backwards, eyelights extinguished and a slightly queasy expression on his face. Stretch hoped he was ok.  
  
  
He looked up when Edge chuckled softly, the first smile he had seen all day, “It sounds like he’s suffering from an _irony_ deficiency.”  
  
  
Stretch lit up, laughing hard enough his shoulders starting shaking and burying his face in Edge’s back, “Oh my God-!”  
  
  
**“Chucklefucks,”** Red spat in their direction, giving Blue another rough shake, “S’why I ain’t ever do nothing nice, always bites ya in the ass! See if I ever-“  
_  
  
“Queen Toriel’s Horns!” _ Blue tried to shove Red away to no avail, “It’s a fucking check-up, ok?” Blue was starting to get angry himself, putting his hands on Red’s ulna and breaking his hold with a sweeping motion. He quickly had Red in a chokehold, “I was going to say something like, ‘You’re an adult and I’m not your Mom’ and not make you go. But now I’m pissed off- if you’re gonna act like a bratty kid, then guess what, Junior? You’re going!”  
  
  
Red looked up with an angry sneer, sweat starting to bead his forehead, and sank his teeth into Blue’s forearm. Stretch winced at the volume and content of Blue’s curses, wondering if he should step in. Edge seemed content to remain on his lap, watching their brothers with clear amusement.  
  
  
“You’re going to get another gold tooth~” Edge called out gleefully, as Blue wrenched Red’s mouth open. He used his now free arm to hold it open and push him arm’s distance, as though he were a lion tamer. Given the way Red’s jaw was creaking with effort to snap down again, saliva starting to drip down his chin, the comparison seemed particularly apt.   
  
  
“Are you trying to slobber on me?!” Blue looked disgusted, “What are you, five?”  
  
  
“You’ll have to excuse him, he wasn’t held enough as a child,” Edge snickered at the look Red gave him, resting his elbow on his husband’s shoulder with a nonchalant shrug. As relieved Stretch was that Edge wasn’t so (heh) on edge anymore, he was starting to feel bad for Red. While initially he had undoubtedly been laying it on thick for his brother’s benefit, it was clear he was starting to get genuinely freaked out.  
  
  
“Edge...”  
  
  
“Hm?” Edge looked back and picked up on his unease immediately, rolling his eyes as though incredibly inconvenienced, “Oh, very well,” Edge stood up and brushed his pants off, walking to stand behind Red and putting a surprisingly gentle hand on his head. Red went rigid, as though expecting pain, and looking even more anxious than before. Edge wrapped his arms around Red’s chest and hoisted him up with a grunt, taking a few toddling steps backwards to regain his balance.  
  
  
“There we are,” He said wryly, patting his brother’s skull like he was a dog, “I promise to settle down if you do. We’ve both made enough of a fuss here.”  
  
  
“Um-“ Blue looked like he wanted to reach out and touch Edge, hands hovering uncertainly before he clasped then together anxiously. “I don’t! Know! How good an idea that is! Heavy lifting is probably not such a good activity for you-“  
  
  
“I’ll hold him!” Stretch was on his feet in an instant, putting a gentle hand on Edge’s shoulder and holding his arm open in obvious invitation. “It’s no trouble!”  
  
  
Edge shifted Red to the side further away from Stretch, looking between them with a scowl, “What are you-?”  
  
  
“E-Ey, it’s good, Boss!” Red leaned on his arm casually, kicking his dangling feet nervously, “Let me down, yeah? I’m, uh, don’t... do tall shit. I’m height-a-phobic.”  
  
  
Edge narrowed his eyes, looking at the three of them in annoyance. He tightened his grip on Red when Stretch made a move to grab him, quickly ducking under his husband’s arm and moving to the other side of the room. He made sure the chairs were between them like a barrier, scoffing dismissively, “Red’s not even _heavy-_ he’s a skeleton!”  
  
  
“Fuckin’ lie! Been hittin’ the dogs ‘n burg’s **hard,** bro- gettin’ real fat. Real heavy. Lil’ more ‘n I could be one ‘em fat wrestler baby-men.”  
  
  
“...Sumo? Are you talking about sumo wrestlers?” Blue started pacing in obvious dismay.  
  
  
“Babe, please,” Stretch gave him the saddest pout he could muster, holding his hands out in near supplication.  
**  
  
“I’m FINE!”**  
_  
  
“Fine?! _ You’re-” Blue took a deep breath, giving Edge a stern but determined look, “This is for your own good!  
  
  
He threw a blue bone at Red, carefully diverting it to the side to avoid hitting Edge’s soul, and lifting him with blue magic. Red made a noise of disbelief, looking between the two of them as Edge stubbornly held on.  
  
  
“Let go! This is ridiculous!” Blue shook Red very gently, obviously trying to get Edge to let go him without hurting either of them.  
_  
  
“You’re_ ridiculous! You attack my brother _out of the blue-“_ Red snickered and Edge squeezed him hard in obvious warning, “And try to literally rip him out of my arms! **Why?!“  
  
  
** “What do you mean why?!” Blue gestured wildly in obvious consternation, “You’re _pregnant!”_  
  
  
“That doesn’t make me an _invalid!“_  
  
  
“Don’t be stubborn! Let him go!”  
  
  
“No, you!”  
  
  
“Boys, Know I’m real cuddly ‘n cute,” Red drawled, looking torn between being annoyed and amused, “But I ain’t no goddamn teddy bear, so both a ya put me down, yeah? Not a toy- _Ow!_ Watch it!”  
  
  
Stretch held out his hands in a pacifying gesture, “This is getting way out of hand. Why don’t we just put everybody back down on the floor and calm down, talk-“  
  
  
The door leading into the lobby slammed open, bouncing off the wall from the sheer force.   
  
“HI SORRY I’M LATE I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO WEAR AND I SHOWERED TWICE MAYBE ANOTHER SHOWER WOULD BE GOOD BUT I’M ALREADY RUNNING SO FAR BEHIND-!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The joke is that IT TAKES FOREVER FOR THE DOCTOR TO FINALLY SEE YOU!  
> This is really long chapter because I didn't update a week! Sorry, my lil sister graduated! :'D And it's kinda filler and super unnecessary, but I really enjoy character interactions and I hope y'all do too! I'm of the belief more is better, since you can just skim or skip the sections that bore you. 
> 
> But I am always open to constructive criticism! Please let me know your suggestions! <3


	2. Philia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undyne finally shows up, and tells Stretch and Blue the rumors about Edge and Red- much to their delight. The Fell Bros take advantage of the situation to try and scare Undyne, but are quickly shot down by Blue- and Edge literally drags his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Philia: often translated as either "brotherly love" or "friendship"; the complete opposite of phobia.
> 
> Chapter Warnings:  
> Nothing in particular- slight swearing, slight violence (?,) lots of headcanons.
> 
> I should also clarify this is Underswap Undyne!

“I’M SO LATE AND I AM INCREDIBLY SORRY ABOUT THAT-”  
  
  
“Dyne-a-mite!” Stretch was on the other side of the room in an instant, cutting off the incredibly nervous-looking fish monster by giving her a bear hug.  
  
  
“Pap-Bomb!” She sounded equally excited, squeezing back hard enough someone’s bones popped. She reached up to loop her arm around his neck, noogieing the top of his head affectionately. “Where have you BEEN?! You missed out on the newest m00n-single! Serena got a rap solo, and she was _so good!_ I didn’t like her look very much though- _gray_ hair! White I could live with, but gray?!”  
  
  
Stretch winced, still hunched over and trapped in her grip, “Owie Ow Ow-  I’ve been busy-“  
  
  
Undyne’s grin widened, “Don’t I know it, you sly-“  
  
  
Blue cleared his throat pointedly, and Undyne literally jumped in alarm. Her face darkened in a mortified blush, tripping over her feet to stand in front of him. She grabbed Blue’s hand and started shaking it hard enough his entire arm was moving.  
  
  
“HEY MR. EDGE OH WAIT YOU HAVE A RANK UH UM COLONEL NO WAIT ITS HIGHER GENERAL GENERALISSIMO IN CHIEF IM SO SOR SORRY I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MILITARY THINGS SIR EDGE IVE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU-“  
  
  
Blue sighed, prying her vice grip off of his fingers and shaking them out with a wince, “Ow! It’s _me,_ Undyne!”  
  
  
She blinked at him owlishly, putting her slightly skewed glasses back in place firmly and leaning forward. “Oh. So it is. Hi Mr. Sans. Wait. _Sans._ Hi Sans.”  
  
  
Blue smiled warmly, reaching out to gently clap her on the shoulder. She jumped with a little scream. “Why are you so nervous?! It’s just us!”  
  
  
“It’s not _just_ you!” Undyne hissed, leaning close and looking around suspiciously. Edge and Red had been quick to move out of her line of sight, quietly watching her every movement with strategic calculation. “Pap’s _husband_ and his _brother-in-law_ are here too! Didn’t they come with you? Are they coming later? I’m super nervous about meeting them! First impressions are the most important!”  
  
  
Blue raised his browbones, exchanging a quick glance with Stretch. Edge had knocked her out cold that one time... It was probably for the best she didn’t remember that incident.  
  
  
“Why? What have you heard?”  
  
  
Undyne turned to Blue looking incredulous, not realizing he hadn’t been the one to ask the question.  
  
  
“Wha- you guys told me! And Allie, but she doesn’t know them very well cause they don’t work together often. She said they’re a different kind of monster. Like how some humans look pretty much the same, but they come from different countries and cultures? They’re like immigrant monsters! Which I never even thought was possible! We were all in the same Underground, but no one seems to _know_ them!”  
  
  
Edge and Red exchanged a look behind her back, and Stretch started to sweat a little. “Can’t get anything past you! My mail-order husband! Directly shipped from an alternate universe!”  
  
  
Undyne frowned, rubbing her arms self-consciously, “That’s just... a pet theory... it’s dumb, I guess, yeah...”  
  
  
Blue gave Stretch a disapproving look, turning to Undyne with a reassuring smile, “I think it’s a very interesting theory! What makes you think that about Red and Edge?”  
  
  
Undyne opened her mouth, before stopping to look at Stretch a little warily. He sighed, slumping, “Sorry Dyne-amo, I was just teasing. I could never afford the cross dimensional shipping fees!”  
  
  
She laughed despite herself, punching  him in the arm in camaraderie. Stretch blinked back tears of pain.  
  
  
Undyne’s excitement came back tenfold, “Allie says that Edge is unlike any other monster she’s ever met, which is why he _can’t_ be from around here! He’s got the highest LOVE of any non-Boss monster EVER! Even higher than hers!”  
  
  
Undyne lowered her voice to a reverential whisper, “But she said he’s always professional and observant, wearing his scars like badges of honor and keeping his thoughts and emotions a secret. A grizzled veteran whose calm is a mask for the raging storm and power beneath! He’s as cold as steel in the winter, as sharp and mysterious as a blade in the moonlight! The glinting Edge of a sword poised to strike!”  
  
  
Edge didn’t say anything, but Blue could see the stars in his eyes all the way from across the room as he visibly vibrated. Stretch snickered, trying very unconvincingly to disguise it as a cough. “He sounds super dreamy- I wish _he_ were my husband.”  
  
  
Edge didn’t look like he cared (or heard) still riding that flattered high. Undyne gave Stretch an incredulous look, “As though you _don’t_ cry about how hot and cool he is every time we have anime night.”  
  
  
Stretch blushed, looking down at the ground and playing with the cuffs of his sleeves. “Yeah, well, I never wrote _detailed fanfiction_ about our future together!”  
  
  
Undyne turned an impressive shade of purple, _“Wha-?!_ I-?! That’s!”  
  
  
“What about his brother?” Blue cut in to save them both from their embarrassment, although Red and Edge seemed to be enjoying themselves.   
  
  
“Allie says he usually sticks close to Edge, so she hasn’t had much of a one on one conversation with him. Red walks with a self-assured swagger, and has next level reflexes. She doesn’t know his LOVE or any of his stats because he manages to move out of the way before she can even try to CHECK him!”  
  
  
There was that familiar spark of excitement in her eye, and Stretch smiled fondly, “He’s irreverent and bold, speaking his mind to everyone, including the King and Queen themselves! Open and dangerous like a nail-studded baseball bat, warm like the last rays of summer sunlight in an alley without an exit. The silver tongue between Red-stained fangs!”  
  
  
Red’s grin was equally large, turning to his brother in glee. They had some sort of quick, whispered conversation, agreeing on something and-   
**  
**  
SLAM!  
  
  
Blue had seen it coming and he still flinched as the door slammed shut. Undyne and Stretch, distracted, both jumped and clung to each other.  
  
  
“Interesting.”  
  
  
Edge and Red radiated confidence and power, circling them leisurely like sharks sensing blood in the water. Edge circled to their right, lifting a browbone as he pointedly looked them head to toe. Undyne visibly shuddered under his scrutiny, clinging to Stretch even tighter in obvious apprehension.  
  
  
“Red, I need a second opinion,” Edge sounded disinterested, pointedly pulling a file from his inventory and sharpening the tips of his claws, “What does this look like to you?”  
  
  
Red, hands folded behind his head irreverently, slowly circled around them from the left, scrutinizing them in a way that had both Stretch and Undyne squirming uncomfortably. He scoffed loudly as he came back to stand by his brother, mouth quirking into a sly smirk.   
  
  
“Thinkin’ there’s somethin’ _fishy_ goin’ on, Boss.”  
  
  
Undyne tensed, looking down at where she had been holding onto Stretch with a vice grip with mounting alarm. She let go and shoved him backwards hard enough he ended up crashing into the door, scrambling to smooth her clothes as though she had been caught doing something indecent. Undyne’s face turned such a dark shade of purple and she was positively shaking with nerves, stumbling over her words so badly it was essentially unintelligible.  
  
  
Edge tucked his file away, arms folded behind his back, calculating and menacing. Red stuffed one hand in his pocket, baring all of his teeth in a nasty smile, dangerous and intimidating.  
  
  
**_Smack!_  
**   
  
Both of the Fell brother’s jumped, whipping their heads back to stare in clear surprise as they moved out of Blue’s range. As though a switch had turned, their previous demeanor of menace and power was replaced with incredulity and irritation. Undyne stopped shaking, staring at Blue with her mouth hanging open.  
  
  
“Boys, behave,” Blue said evenly, giving them the sharp Mom(TM) look Stretch had frequently received in his youth. Blue leaned down, grabbing Undyne’s hands and pulling her upright easily.  
  
  
He straightened her lab coat, tutting, “What were you two even thinking? What is the strategic benefit of scaring the doctor to death?” He whirled on them suddenly, wagging a finger at them, “Who’s going to do both of your check ups, hm? What if she didn’t like your little stunt and tried to poison you?”  
  
  
“Oh my god!” Undyne whispered, bringing her hands up to her mouth in horrified fascination, eyes darting to Stretch, “Did- Did your brother just _spank_ them?!”  
  
  
Stretch crossed his arms thoughtfully, before shrugging and whispering back, “Maybe? His Mom(TM) mode is fearless AND terrifying.”  
  
  
“Gonna ‘member that, Baby Blue,” Red sounded sullen, rubbing his coccyx like he had been grievously wounded, “Watch yer fuckin’ back.”  
  
  
Edge had already recovered, ignoring the bickering between Red and Blue to stand in front them. Undyne was still slightly taller, even with his heels, but he seemed to tower over her anyway. “And who is this strange woman you seem so well acquainted with?” he sniffed, pointedly ignoring the incredulous look Stretch was giving him.  
  
  
Undyne brightened considerably, clasping her hands in front of her and bowing deeply (just like her idols always did,) “It’s an honor to meet you, sir! I’m Undyne, the Royal Physician!”  
  
  
“Doctor.” Edge offered her his hand, and Undyne stared at it in bewildered confusion. She took gently, holding it loosely as though unsure what to do with it. Edge dipped into his charming, formal event persona, “My husband has always spoken of you with great admiration and affection. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”  
  
  
“I...” Undyne dropped to her knees, bringing Edge’s hand to her lips in a kiss, then touching it to her forehead. She looked at Stretch over her shoulder, head still bowed, “Is that how you greet military?”  
  
  
“You’re thinking royalty, actually,” Blue answered kindly, valiantly trying to suppress his giggles while Red was positively guffawing on the floor. Edge didn’t even smile, but it was clear from how tightly he clenched his fists that it was only through sheer self-control.  
  
  
“DynDyn,” Stretch grabbed her under her armpits, hoisting her to her feet and maneuvering her like a rag doll. “Relax! This is Edge, the Military Attaché at the Monster Embassy... and my husband.” He shifted his hold so she was hanging over one arm like a doll, using his free hand to grab her arm and wave it. Edge waved back indulgently, snickering as soon as her back was turned.   
  
  
Stretch walked her over to Red, who was still laughing softly on the ground, “This is Red, Assistant to the Attaché and Economic Advisor to the Embassy. He’s also my brother-in-law.”  
  
  
“What’s up, doc?” Red winked at her, content to lie on the floor even as Blue started nudging him to get back up.   
  
  
“You know Blue. And me.”  
  
  
Stretch walked her back over to Edge, leaning down so Undyne was eye level with his his stomach, “And last but not least is your patient-“  
  
  
Edge crossed his arms and pointedly turned away, looking self-conscious as he cleared his throat, “An introduction better suited to your examination room, I would think.”  
  
  
“Aw, ain’t he cute, all bashful-like?” Red leered, half-draped over Blue who was struggling to haul him to his feet. “Ya embarrassed, Mama Bear?”  
  
  
“Of _my own baby?!”_ Edge looked incensed, hands twitching to the hem of his shirt, “How _dare_ you-?!”  
  
  
“Ow!” Red rubbed his head ruefully, glaring at Blue who held his fist aloft in clear warning. Blue sounded exasperated, “Edge, don’t let him goad you into anything! Don’t pull your shirt up! Red, stop harassing your brother!”  
  
  
“Ok, **Mom,”** Red grinned mischievously as he threw all his weight onto Blue, forcing the other monster to stagger backwards. Blue grunted, instinctively grabbing the other skeleton by his sides as he tried to stabilize their positions. Red leaned forward so they were nose to nose, arms wrapped around Blue’s neck in a vice grip.   
  
  
“I don’t know what you’re trying to pull,” Blue warned darkly, “But if you burp in my face, I will fucking kill you.”  
  
  
Stretch put Undyne back on her feet, pushing her towards the door she had come out of earlier. She immediately hurried into the hallway and towards another door leading to a smaller examination room, “Here, come on in! Usually Reggie G. Jr. and R.G. the Second come help me on weekdays, but I asked them to make sure this room was tidy today! Not that I would ever allow conditions here to be anything _less_ than tidy, of course! It’s just-”  
  
  
Stretch put his hand on the small of Edge’s back, lightly pushing him forward- to no avail. Stretch quirked a browbone, wrapping his arm around Edge’s shoulder, and pushing more insistently, forcing his husband a few paces forward.  
  
  
“We’ll see you in a bit, Blue, Red. Try not to kill each other, ok?” Stretch called over his shoulder.  
  
  
“I make no promises,” Blue sounded serious, but they were still doing that weird semi-hug standoff thing, so Stretch just shrugged.  
  
  
“Come on, buddy, in we go,” Stretch was expecting _some_ reluctance, but he didn’t think it’d be the dig-his-heels-in, grab-onto-the-door-jam kind of __resistance. He grabbed Edge’s hands, gently prying them off the door and hugging them to his chest.   
  
  
“Easy does it, Pancake, Edge,” Stretch ended up half-picking up and dragging Edge to the examination room, being sure to stand between him and the door as it shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK y'all these chapter titles are so hard ;A;  
> More filler/fluff, but hopefully its still fun! :.D  
> Thank you so much for reading! <3 I really appreciate your support, kudos, and comments!


	3. Storge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edge is incredibly unhappy, Undyne is incredibly nervous, and Stretch tries to keep them both from self/outwardly imploding. Pancake finally gets their checkup through the Mini MeDi, a non-intrusive magic and soul scanner, and they're doing well. Undyne gives advice and then embarrasses herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Storge: natural or instinctual affection, such as the love of a parent towards offspring; familial love
> 
> Chapter Warnings:  
> Fear of Doctors (Iatrophobia), Anxiety manifesting as aggression, Brief Mentions of Violence, Informational discussions of monster pregnancies including length & development phases, Non-intrusive prenatal diagnostic equipment and examination using videogame logistics, a lot of pseudo-magic-science fudging game aspects, a lot of headcanons.  
> I'll tag whatever you need me to tag!

  
“You _insult_ me,” Edge bristled, pointedly sitting on the examination table and crossing his legs primly, “As though I would even consider _fleeing!”_  
  
  
Stretch had no doubt he would bolt if given the chance- ‘tactical regrouping’ he called it- but nodded,  “‘Course not. I’m just _stretching_ my legs.” He winked.  
  
  
“UGH.” Edge looked disgusted. “Terrible. Absolutely horrendous.”  
  
  
Undyne cleared her throat, clicking her pen and holding her clipboard professionally. “Why don’t we get started. I’m Dr. Undyne, and-“ she stopped suddenly, earfins drooping as she seemed to collapse on herself. “I... I already introduced... myself...”  
  
  
She stood up abruptly, heading towards the door, “That was really stupid... I’m, uh- I should maybe-“  
  
  
“Undyne!” Stretch pulled her into a big hug that had her squeak in surprise, lifting her clear off the floor. He nuzzled the back of her head like she was a toy, and she clung to his arms as if afraid of falling. Undyne looked suddenly much more relaxed, for whatever reason.  
  
  
“It’s going _tibia_ ok! Edge won’t bite you or anything! He’s a lot more nervous about this than you are!”  
  
  
Edge narrowed his eyes, stung by that inadvertent betrayal. “Doubtful,” he sneered, “You _reek_ of fear.”  
  
  
“Edge,” Stretch’s voice took on that rare warning tone, giving him that vaguely disappointed quasi-judgemental look that never failed to make Edge actually feel (a little) bad, “Play nice.“  
  
  
Undyne leaned toward her armpit discreetly, sniffing the fabric a little too loudly to go unnoticed. “I knew I should have taken that extra shower...” she mumbled to herself, cheeks flushed in mortification.  
  
  
Stretch squeezed her to get her attention, continuing with an obvious undertone of pride, “My Dyne-amo’s a great friend, and an even better doctor! She’s hardworking and honest, and has a great bedside manner! She owns up to her mistakes and works hard to fix them, so you couldn’t be in more capable hands!”  
  
  
Edge held his tongue, watching actual sparkles manifest by his husband’s head with a carefully neutral expression. That was hardly reassuring, but Blue was right- isolating her would do him no favors. He would just bide his time until he could find a more suitable physician, if necessary. He gripped the plastic on either side of him tightly.  
  
  
“Oh, well...” Undyne started playing with a loose lock of hair almost bashfully, before she grinned, “You’re such a huge _dork!”_  
  
  
She turned around and started mercilessly noogieing Stretch’s head, laughing boisterously as he sank to his knees in pain, “OW OW! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS?!”  
  
  
“BECAUSE I GET OVERWHELMED AND I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO EXPRESS MY SINCERE APPRECIATION OF YOUR SUPPORT!  
  
  
Edge felt _something_ stir deep in his soul, a strange feeling that made looking at them suddenly unbearable. Was it jealousy? Stretch gave hugs to everyone, and Undyne didn’t seem like much of a threat... What _was_ it, then?! As much as he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t make himself relax.  
  
  
“Do you know m00nsh1ne?!”  
  
  
Edge looked back, watching Stretch massage his neck and shoulders for a moment, before turning his attention back to Undyne. She sat on her little stool, clipboard held against her face and looking incredibly excited.  
  
  
“...Homemade distilled liquor?” Edge asked, unsure of what to make of her odd question. He was fairly certain that wasn’t what she was asking, but he had no idea what else it could be.   
  
  
“If that’s a roundabout way of asking if I drink, then I haven’t since I found out I’m pregnant.” Edge wasn’t sure why she deflated, turning to look at Stretch in obvious confusion.  
  
  
“A-pop- Aerok* Pop Music.” Stretch pointed at the poster on the wall. “They’re an A-pop band called m00nsh1ne, and Undyne’s their biggest fan. You were looking at the poster so...”  
  
  
Oh. The poster featured a group of pretty girls in identical, impractical dresses, posed with something written in the middle in a foreign language. Maybe not, he squinted, maybe it was just very stylized.  
  
  
“Hm.” Edge felt her eyes on him, even as she started fiddling with a complicated-looking machine. “No-“ He could see Stretch behind her miming a conversation with his hands, followed by a pleading expression. “You may tell me about them some other time.”  
  
  
That wasn’t the best answer, but Undyne lit up like a Gyftmas Tree and Stretch made him a little heart with his hands. Edge sighed, rolling his eyes.  
  
  
“Excellent!” Undyne picked up a portable screen and held it up, “I’ve read through your medical file, and you don’t seem to have any underlying conditions, but if there’s anything I should be aware of-“  
  
  
Edge instinctively scrambled away as she came closer with the machine, only stopping when Stretch physically sat on the end of the examination table. He dug his claws into his husband’s femur as though grounding himself, keeping one arm raised defensively at chest level.  
  
  
“Why...” He forced himself to take a deep breath, straightening his spine and asking with more aggression than he intended, **“What’s that for?”**  
  
  
Undyne flinched as if he struck her, leaning back against her chair and pulling the screen up to her chest. She actually seemed to be trying to hide behind it, looking down as though afraid to make eye contact.  
  
  
“Uhhh...” she started, worrying at her lips nervously, “Medicinal- um, magic- magicianal-“  
  
  
“Ok, let’s all calm down,” Stretch was as soothing as possible, draping an arm on Edge’s shoulder and reaching out to lay a gentle hand on Undyne’s lap. It was more suffocating than comforting, so Edge quickly shrugged it off, putting his back against the wall instead.   
  
  
“Did I say or do something bad?” Undyne asked timidly, ear fins drooping in obvious consternation.   
  
  
Stretch looked in his direction, but Edge pointedly looked at the machine instead, bringing his foot onto the examination table.  
  
  
“We’ve had very bad experiences with doctors before-“ Stretch sighed, but kept his voice calming and even, “So we’re _very wary_ and _very uncomfortable_ being here, right?”  
  
  
Edge gave a curt nod, not trusting his voice when every instinct **_screamed_** at him get out of this room. He tapped his fingers on the plastic cushion restlessly, reminding himself over and over that neither monster was an enemy or a threat. They were allies. Allies. Allies. Allies-  
  
  
“What?!” Undyne got up immediately, eyes dilating and gills flaring in obvious anger, “Doctor’s take a **solemn oath** to follow a _strict_ ethical code to _help_ their patients! That anyone would **dare** violate this is **INEXCUSABLE!“**  
  
  
The aggression put Edge back on high alert, crossing the room with his handle on the doorknob in an instant- but it was _familiar._ Justice-fueled and aimed outward at no particular target. Just outrage at things outside of her ability to throttle into submission. _Comforting_ ** _._** He felt something almost forgotten stir deep in his soul, and he _almost_ smiled as Undyne let out a guttural scream of rage. Edge forced his fingers to uncurl around the handle, making a tight fist at his side as he watched her every move.  
  
  
“THAT QUACK-! MALPRACTICE SHOULD BE PUNISHED BY **_EXECUTION!”_** She snapped her clipboard in half. Stretch looked completely unfazed as he ducked his head to the side, avoiding the largest piece of shrapnel as he kept an eye on both monsters.  
  
  
“Ah!” Undyne looked down at her clipboard with furrowed brows, “That’s the fifth one this month!”  
  
  
Stretch patted her back, taking the remains from her hands and tossing it in the trash with practiced ease. “At least it wasn’t the machine. You almost caused a fire last time.”  
  
  
“Sorry!” Undyne was incredibly apologetic, ducking her head repeatedly in a series of quick bows as she swiveled towards the door, “I didn’t mean to startle you! I just can’t _stand_ bad doctors! I can only imagine what that- that- **_UGH_** did if they could make someone as cool and as tough as you are **that** uncomfortable!”  
  
  
She shuddered meaningfully. _That,_ more than her praise and passionate outburst, did more to settle his insecurity and anxiety into something more manageable. Edge had to remain stable and in control for the sake of all the monsters looking up to him. For the monsters _depending_ on him.  
  
  
“Since your previous physicians- _if you can even call them that_ \- failed you, it’s my **duty** to make up for their shortcomings!” Undyne continued earnestly, procuring a new clipboard from a drawer filled with them. “Rest assured, you’ll have the **best** care here! And I’ll make sure little Pancake _never_ has to suffer the same way!”  
  
  
Edge nodded, still a little terse, “Very well, Doctor.”  
  
  
Undyne sat back down, beaming, “What can I do to make you feel more at ease? This is _your_ appointment, after all- you’re in charge!” _  
  
  
He was?!_ Edge felt something in him unclench, and while not at all comfortable, it was... better.  He went back to his spot on the examination table next to Stretch, discreetly laying his hand next to his husband’s fingers. He felt Stretch shift, squeezing his hand gently. Feeling a little more like he was in control, Edge looked at the machine she was holding, forcing down his trepidation.  
  
  
“Explain what you will be using, where and how, and for what purpose _before_ you do anything,” he instructed, sounding more confident than he felt. Undyne flinched at his commanding tone, but nodded nonetheless.  
  
  
“...I can’t run the same risks as if it were just **_me,_** you understand,” he added softly as an afterthought, watching her every movement carefully. Her face softened as though she understood (how could she?), but if it was for Pancake’s sake, he could do it. He _would_ do it. He would do _anything._  
  
  
“Of course.” Undyne pushed her hair out of her eyes to little effect, passing the screen over for Edge to hold. He took it gingerly, looking at the interface with renewed uncertainty.  
  
  
“This is the Magical-Medical Diagnostic Display, the MMDD, better known as mini MeDi! I designed it, and Allie built it!” Her gills flared and she sounded proud, excitedly leaning over to point at several icons. It seemed fairly standard, with icon demonstrating monster stats like HP, DEF, ATK, MGC, etc.  
  
  
“It’s somewhat based off of a BATTLE interface, combining the CHECK command with soul and magic type readings. That’s why it’s all black! If I were to use it on you, your body would show up like a white silhouette and your soul would look black. Like so.” She moved his hands to hold the machine up, pointing it at herself. Edge supposed it _did_ look like the magical barrier that occurred during a BATTLE that drained color of everything but magical attacks.   
  
  
“The HUD...” Undyne crushed a hand to her mouth, gnawing at her knuckles for a moment, “Wait, let me back this up. So, monster pregnancies are measured in percentages, so little Pancake is _literally_ going to have a load bar showing how far along they are. For simplicity, we divide these load points into quarters- the first quarter is roughly 25%, second quarter is about 50%, third quarter is close to 75%, and the last quarter is 98% or so!”  
  
  
Edge frowned, “Why 98%? That completely disrupts the pattern...”  
  
  
Undyne blinked, surprised, “Um, yeah...” She looked at the floor, twiddling her thumbs, “Well, at 100% they’re- they’re done. Um, they’re born and we’d just... check them directly... I thought it was clever, but, um, you’re right in that it’s not even...”  
  
  
Edge never had the same kind of patience Red had with Alphys, or Stretch had with this easily discouraged Undyne apparently, but he was getting tired of her insecurity. Maybe if he just yelled something positive at her, she would become inspired and stop being so gloomy?   
  
  
Stretch gave his hand a squeeze as though he could hear his thoughts, and spoke before Edge had a chance to say anything, “I think it’s cool and I like it. So, Pancake’s probably closest to the 25% benchmark, yeah? What does that mean?”  
  
  
Undyne perked up at the subtle encouragement, continuing emphatically, “Well, 1st quarter is the souling stabilizing itself and becoming their own monster. Although from the beginning the Souling has always been there, it’s not until 25% when they establish a soul signature that’s completely independent of its parent. So, when I use this machine on you, Mr- erm, Col- uh, Gen- uh, Sir! Pancake won’t appear as a separate soul signature quite yet. They’ll just be this…  amorphous magic that’ll come up as an unidentified object with a little loading bar.”  
  
  
That all seemed reasonable enough, but Edge still tensed when she made a move to take the machine. Stretch, ever sensitive to the shifting atmosphere (and the claws digging into the back of his hand,) cleared his throat, “How about a test run first, huh?”  
  
  
“I’ll volunteer-“ Stretch started to stand up, but Edge reached out to grab the back of his shirt, grip tight to keep him from getting up.   
  
  
Stretch didn’t miss a beat, “To operate it! Dyn-Dyn, I just point this thing at you and tap your body outline, right?”  
  
  
“Uh,” Undyne clearly hadn’t been expecting that, but turned to face him anyway, “Yes, exactly!”  
  
  
“Okie dokie.” Stretch held the machine up, pointing it at Undyne, glancing at Edge. His husband, almost reluctantly, tapped the heart quickly, jerking backwards as though he expected to be electrocuted. The screen readout changed, with Undyne’s silhouette becoming black and a variety of stats coming up.  
  
  
“Oh, wow,” Stretch murmured to himself, “That’s really cool, I had no idea your soul signature was 20% Integrity, but that makes sense.”  
  
  
“Yes!” Undyne looked pleased, “Soul signatures and magic are an imprecise science, but you’ll usually find at least trace amounts of all 7 major soul types. That’s why Monster souls appear white! It’s a fascinating area of study, and the actual makeup of your soul changes given your emotional state! Since I was just-“  
  
  
Edge never thought he’d ever be _bored_ in a doctor’s office, and yet... He focused on the little machine in front of him, poking Undyne’s soul directly a variety of times to no effect. If she wasn’t reacting at all, still talking about soul types, then maybe it really _was_ just a diagnostic tool.  
  
  
He looked up just as Undyne finished explaining something about green magic, turning the screen around so it faced her instead. It was with great effort that Edge convinced himself to finally let go, dropping it onto her lap in a way that had her scrambling to keep it from tumbling onto the floor.  
  
  
Taking deep, steadying breath, Edge released his death grip on his husband’s fingers and the examination table, “You may proceed, Doctor.”  
  
  
Stretch remained where he was, discreetly massaging his hand and flashing Edge a reassuring smile. Undyne held the machine up, clearing her throat as he finger hovered over the screen, “I’m going to hit this button so the machine will start scanning you, ok? Most monsters don’t really feel anything, but some monster’s report it feels like a prolonged CHECK. I promise it won’t be painful for you or Pancake. In 3… 2… 1… _Moon time!”  
  
  
_ “Moontime? _Seriously?”  
  
  
_ “I-! It’s-! YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND!”  
  
  
**_“I_** wouldn’t understand?! Who sat through that whole concert…”  
  
  
Edge couldn’t help cringing, but true to her word, it didn’t hurt. It was deeply unsettling and uncomfortable, like someone was trying to peel back all the layers of magic, coding, and intent that made up his entire being- but it didn’t hurt.  
  
  
“Agggh!” Undyne sounded annoyed, turning to the screen in front of her with a huff, “Stop distracting me! You’re making me look incredibly rude and unprofessional in front of Edge! It’s-”  
  
  
“Oh!” She looked surprised, before immediately schooling her expression into something more professional. “That’s! Unexpected!”  
  
  
“What is?” Edge’s voice was calm, but he bodily shoved Stretch off the examination table and towards the screen, keeping uncomfortably still for the machine, “Is something wrong?”  
  
  
“No, no, no- nothing bad! It all looks really good!” Undyne relinquished hold of the machine to Stretch as she scribbled something down on the clipboard, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.  
  
  
Stretch grinned, trying to resist running his finger along the display, “Pancake’s officially at 12.5%! They don’t have much in the way of stats yet, predictably, but they’re ‘In Progress’ and also PBST_NORMAL!”  
  
  
Edge wasn’t sure what that meant, but normal was encouraging, and no special indicators meant nothing was wrong, right? He returned Stretch’s smile with a small, tentative one of his own.  
  
  
“Exactly! You’re just a lot further a long that I was anticipating!” Undyne tapped her pen against her teeth, “How, um, long has it been?”  
  
  
“3 weeks and 4 days,” Edge forced himself not to shift uneasily, even as Undyne continued taking furious notes, “I have it marked on my calendar, if you need a precise calendar date.”  
  
  
“3 weeks? Hm... And 12.5% is half a quarter...” Undyne gnawed on her pen, “So your quarters are 6?”   
  
  
She looked to Stretch, who was trying to hold the screen and take a picture with his phone at the same time, “Hm? Oh, 6.5 would be a closer estimate, no?”  
  
  
“Then, with 4 quarters, that’s 46. Roughly 184 days.”  
  
  
“184,” Stretch confirmed with a nod, before his face fell almost comically, “184 days?! That’s! So soon?! Edge!” He turned to his husband, “That’s like no time at all?!”  
  
  
Edge made an educated guess, “Until Pancake’s at 100%?”  
  
  
“Exactly!” Undyne took the screen back, typing something onto it as she glanced down at the paper several times, “I’m just calibrating the machine to these parameters, and if my math and your estimates are correct-“  
  
  
“They are,” Edge interjected.  
  
  
“Then the full length of this monster pregnancy should be 184 days, about 6 months. But, magic is unpredictable, so it could be earlier or later depending on a couple of different factors.”  
  
  
“Like what?” Stretch asked, looking a little nervous as he played with the strings of his hoodie, “Like LV and EXP?”  
  
  
“No,” Undyne answered quickly, trying to smile reassuringly, but it came off as forced, “Queen Toriel was also concerned, but in the few observed cases, LV has not significantly affected the Souling. There haven’t been any cases or studies on the impact of a raise of EXP or LV _on_ a Souling, but I wouldn’t, um, recommend it...”  
  
  
“Is that all for today, Doctor?” Edge crossed his arms impatiently, the feeling of a prolonged CHECK starting to grate at his nerves.  
  
  
“Yes-“ Undyne quickly turned the machine off, clearing her throat, “Overall your stats are excellent- but your DEF is unusually low, so that’ll definitely be something to keep an eye on-“  
  
  
“Is there anything I should do to address that?” Edge cut in.  
  
  
“Nothing in particular...” Undyne tapped at her cheek in though, “There are consumable items that can raise DEF temporarily, but they won’t have a long term impact. Not unless you increase your consumption to a daily basis. You might want to consider equipping armor that has a higher DEF, at least +3, to neutralize  your stats.”  
  
  
Edge looked troubled, worrying at the ratty, frayed bandana around his throat.   
  
  
“It’ll probably be fine without it though!” Undyne backpedaled immediately, glancing at Stretch in dismay, “It’s just a precaution- Soulings in their first quarter are still feeling out their magic, so they’ll initially mimic your stats. They end up balancing themselves out in the third quarter usually- well, there’s a slight chance they won’t- but they’re more sensitive to that in the second quarter anyway- but then again-“  
  
  
Edge unequipped his bandana without another word, tucking it into his inventory. His face was inscrutable as he turned back to Undyne, “I will address that. Anything else?”  
  
  
“Uh-Pancake’s development is coming along well, so I won’t need to see you until the end of this quarter-“ She said in a rush, unnerved by Stretch’s surprised expression, “Just, um, keep doing what you’re doing and it should be fine. Make sure to get as much sleep as possible.”  
  
  
She took a deep breath, positively jumping as Edge stood up with a nod, “Thank you, Doctor. We’ll keep in touch.”  
  
  
Undyne sat ramrod straight, clutching her clipboard to her chest, “Yes, ok, thank you, love you, bye.”  
  
  
Edge smiled to himself as Undyne let out a mortified sound, half-collapsing onto the floor. He shared a glance with Stretch as he let the door close, careful to never once give either of them his back.  
  
  
“Ohmygod-!” Undyne wheezed, latching onto Stretch and shaking his shoulders roughly, “Your husband is the _scariest,_ most intense, _sexiest_ monster I’ve ever met?! It felt like he was going to eat me- but that I should thank him for the privilege?  I’m 100% a lesbian in a loving and committed relationship, but _damn!“_  
  
  
“Yeah, uh,” Stretch laughed, gently patting her hands, “He’s got that effect on people, heh. He’ll be flattered-”  
  
  
“OH MY GOD NO!” Undyne’s grip got tighter as her face went pale, “You can’t say a thing! I’m going to have to face him in a few weeks! How can I when I know he knows I think he actually kind lives up to your hype?! _WHAT IF ALLIE HEARS?!_ No, no one must ever know!”  
  
  
“Ok, ok, Doc. Thanks for today, by the way- you’re _my_ hero, the Undying Doctor.”  
  
  
She blushed, pulling her hair over her face bashfully, “You didn’t know naming conventions between doctors and wrestlers were different back then either!”  
  
  
Stretch winked, before becoming uncharacteristically serious, “But I had a few more questions. Specifically, what symptoms are coming up? And talk to me a little bit more about that DEF thing too... “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Aerok Pop Music = Korean Pop Music, ie. K-Pop! Since it's Underswap, I thought it'd be a cute literal swap lol, and I don't... actually want this to take place in this actual universe and world. It essentially is, but think of it as like 2 degrees off! 
> 
> Phew! I hope that all makes sense? I'm constantly developing and trying to further solidify this whole monster pregnancy system, but it's all over the place lol. If there was something that wasn't clear, please let me know! Or if you have any comments/opinions, please! :'D


	4. Sympathia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edge has to deal with Red being overbearing, then Undyne & Blue have to deal with Red trying to escape his checkup. Edge and Stretch go home to talk privately, share some doubts and reassure each other, and then realize the car is still in the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sympathia - community of feeling; sympathy
> 
> Chapter Warnings:  
> Overbearing & Overprotective siblings, Fear of Doctors (Iatrophobia) with good reason, Anxiety manifesting as aggression, Swearing, Forcing someone into a medical chekup, Insecurities and doubts, but it all gets resolved!

When Stretch emerged from the hallway a little later, Undyne in _~~under~~_ tow, they nearly hit Edge with the door.   
  
  
“And yer _sure_ everythin’s fine ‘n dandy?” Red was holding Edge’s hand out, scrutinizing the numerous bones in his hand with a jewelry loupe.   
  
  
“Yes,” Edge sounded annoyed, tolerating it with the long-suffering grace of someone used to such treatment.  
  
  
“They ain’t give ya nothin’?!” Red CHECKed his stats again, ignoring a very aggravated sigh. _“Nothin’??”  
  
  
_ ** _“No.”_  
  
  
** Red looked up sharply in clear warning, turning his brother’s wrist several times. “Wha’ kinda fucked up shit she got that ain’t be leavin’ no mark?”

  
“She didn’t have any restraints that I could see, and none that could be accessed at anytime,” Edge sounded bewildered, “And she didn’t use any on me _or_ Stretch!”  
  
  
Red rubbed at his skull, sounding completely mystified, “D’fuck?”  
  
  
“She was the only one in the room with us, the door was unlocked at all times, and the window has no additional reinforcements either.” Edge mimed a square, “Her equipment was largely nonintrusive scanners, and she _asked_ before she tried to touch me!”  
  
  
“Don’t fuckin’ lie to ** _me-“_** Red started to snarl angrily, grabbing Edge by the scruff of his neck, “Dumbass, I’m-“   
  
  
Red closed his mouth with a loud click, expression softening as Edge made an X over his soul with offended conviction. Red looked far from convinced, but released Edge to cross his arms over his chest, “Gotta be a catch.”  
  
  
“I know, right?” Edge drummed a hand thoughtfully on his thigh, as both brothers scrutinized Undyne closely. “But _what?”_  
  
  
Undyne wilted under the sudden attention and quickly hid behind Stretch. There was a mean glint in Red’s eyes as he leaned against Edge, “Maybe she’s a witch! Gonna swoop in ‘n steal yer firstborn!”  
  
  
“Red!” Stretch called out, uncharacteristically sharp, “It’s hard enough getting him to come here _without_ convincing him Dy’s secretly Rumplestilskin! Stop!”  
  
  
“Who?” Edge kept his expression neutral, but his gaze was piercing enough Undyne was huddling behind Stretch again.  
  
  
 ** _“Who-?!”_** Stretch let out a long breath, rubbing at his face, “That’s _ok._ You’ll learn the classic tale of Rumplestilskin and other dearly beloved stories along with Pancake.”  
  
  
Blue, who had been off to the side watching the entire exchange quietly, rested his chin on his palm with steadily widening sockets. “Angel have mercy,” he murmured to himself, shaking his head as he stood up.  
  
  
“Ok,” Blue grabbed Red’s shoulder in a vice grip and started forcing him forward, “You’ve done enough stalling. You’re up.”  
  
  
“Wha-?!” Undyne poked her head around Stretch with wide eyes, _“Red_ is pregnant too?!”  
  
  
Blue started sputtering, face flushing in embarrassment, “I- wha-no-we-uh?!?!?”  
  
  
“Huh?!” Red started struggling against him immediately, eyes going wide, “Hell no! Ain’t ever _gonna,_ ‘specially not with some sunshine’s n’ rainbows _fucker!”_ He spat in Edge’s direction, “Got more **_sense_** than that!”  
  
  
“Just a standard health check, Doctor,” Edge turned to Undyne with an almost bored expression, “As his next of kin, you have my full permission  to do whatever is necessary to keep yourself safe as you fulfill your duty, including but not limited to:” He started to list things out on his fingers, “Shock collars, muzzles, straitjackets, sensory deprivation items like blindfolds and ear mufflers, gags-“  
  
  
Undyne had looked momentarily relieved to have something else to do, but her face steadily fell as Edge continue talking. To his credit, Blue managed to keep Red in a headlock despite how hard he was struggling... although that last lunge was uncomfortably close.  
  
  
“Fine, you asked for it!” Blue smashed their skulls together hard enough both skeletons reeled, disoriented and stunned. Undyne, in a moment of inspired panic, picked them both up and tossed them into the hallway leading to her examination room.  
  
  
“Ahhh!” She screamed as she slammed the door behind her, a strange mix of terrified and thrilled.  
  
  
“Thanks Dy, you’re dyne-a-mite!” Stretch called through the door as the sounds of renewed struggling picked up again, “Bro, you’re my hero! Thank you!”  
  
  
“Why are you thanking them?” Edge looked honestly confused, “He’s not _your_ brother, and an _apology_ would be more apt.”  
  
  
Stretch smiled neutrally, shrugging, “Attitude is everything, right?”  
  
  
Edge looked unconvinced, but Stretch was preoccupied with Red’s earlier comment. He probably didn’t _mean_ it- he was always so caustic and went too far when he was stressed- but... had he been thinking that this entire time? Red had never given his blessing or whatever outright, even if he had almost immediately accepted Pancake as part of the family. Was he... not good enough?  
  
“Hey, Can I... ask you something?” Stretch stuck his hands in his pocket, worrying at his ring almost absently.  
  
  
“He seems convincing but I can guarantee Red has _no soul,”_ Edge started seriously, looking at the closed door with a dismissive shrug, “He can’t feel fear or distress the way us _normal_ monsters can, so despite his flair for theatrics, he’s ** _fine.”_**  
  
  
Stretch smiled despite himself, “We’re normal now, huh?”  
  
  
“As long as everyone _else_ keeps thinking that,” Edge answered with a smirk, “But that’s not what you wanted to ask. I know _that_ look. Let’s get home, first- those walls _don’t_ have ears.”  
  
  
“ _Wall_ ever you say,” Stretch answered breezily, grabbing Edge’s hand as he pushed open the door leading to the hallway. He wiped his shoes on their welcome mat, waiting for his husband to follow him inside, before shutting their front door.  
  
  
“Yes?” Edge moved closer, gently pulling Stretch’s arms out of his pockets as his fidgeting got more obvious. “What is it?”  
  
  
“Is it...” Stretch shrugged, rubbing one arm in obvious discomfort, “Is it bad _you’re_ pregnant? With _my_ kid? I know I’m not Fell, and my stats-“  
  
  
“No,” Edge cut him off sharply, taking his hands to give them a reassuring squeeze, “I have very stringent requirements and standards, and I would not have _married_ you if you did not exceed them. It is an _honor_ and a _privilege_ to be nurturing **_our_** child.”  
  
  
“But Red-“ Edge put his hand against Stretch’s mouth, looking off to the side with a troubled expression. He looked at Stretch’s hands for a long moment.  
  
  
“That wasn't a value judgement on you- it was a jab at me. Red is thinking along Underfell lines,” He said slowly, starting to smooth down the wrinkles on his husband’s hoodie, “I have more HP, higher LV, significantly more experience and training using my magic offensively and defensively, and your shortcut ability allows you to easily and quickly get out of bad situations without using your own magic.”  
  
  
Stretch blinked, mystified, “So?” He mumbled around Edge’s fingers, grabbing his other hand when Edge kept smoothing the same wrinkle. “What does any of that matter?”  
  
  
“It would be much more logical, and safer, if our roles were reversed.” Edge finally looked at him, something wistful and insecure in his eyelights, “This plays _against_ our strengths, respectively and as a couple. _This_ is unnecessarily indulgent and risky, for both us and the baby. It’s too passionate and haphazard, blah blah blah, and Red went on and on when you were with Blue that time. But he's _right._ This is all just-“  
  
  
 **“Absolutely perfect,”** Stretch finished for him, pulling his husband flush against him in a tight hug. “Ok. I get it now. I don’t know what your brother told you, but monster babies can _only_ come from ‘haphazard passion.’ When _both_ parents _feel_ ready, _that’s_ when you get a Souling- and it’s a 50/50 shot _who.”_  
  
  
Stretch shrugged, gently stroking Edge’s back, “So, yeah, ok, you can plan for it a little bit, maybe, but Pancake knew I was ready for ‘em before _I_ did. And I wasn’t awake for it, but I’m pretty sure _you_ were surprised, too. Pancake’s s been calling the shots all along, and they wanted _you.”_    
  
  
“Still…” Edge looked unconvinced, but didn’t resist when Stretch tilted his face up.  
  
  
Butting their foreheads together, Stretch stroked his thumbs along those cheekbones lovingly, “Don’t doubt yourself, Pap, because _I_ never have and Pancake _never_ will, ok?”  
  
  
Edge nodded, arms tight around his husband’s waist, “Only if you promise not to doubt yourself, either. Pancake trusts and believes in _you,_ and so do I. Don't disappoint us.”  
  
  
“You drive a hard bargain, Sweetheart,” Stretch sighed, still rubbing Edge’s back, “But ok. Nothing to do but just keep rolling with the punches, right?”  
  
  
Stretch let out a relieved sigh when Edge nodded, eager to lighten the serious atmosphere.   
  
  
“Onto the next order of business, then,” Stretch grinned, managing to startle a squeak out of Edge by suddenly squeezing just above his stomach, “What does my _very brave baby_ want as their reward, hmm? Pancake was _so good,_ they can have _anything_ they want! No matter how far or expensive!”  
  
  
“The car,” Edge said suddenly, the embarrassed flush leaving his cheekbones as he pulled away. Stretch watched him rummage through the drawer in the table next to the door with a pensive hum.  
  
  
“I was thinking food,” Stretch scratched at the back of his head idly, “I wasn’t expecting Pancake to start wanting their own car until they were in their teens, at least. How about some nice cream instead?”  
  
  
“We _drove_ to Undyne’s clinic!” Edge closed the drawer with a little more force than necessary, giving Stretch a flat look, “I need to go get _my_ car!”  
  
  
“Don’t you mean _our_ car?” Stretch asked, flexing his hand as he reached for the doorknob, concentrating on mental image of Undyne’s clinic.  
 **  
  
“No.** While I _generously_ allow you free use, it is _my_ car. I will share some things,” Edge said ‘share’ as though it was unpleasant on his tongue, “But _my_ car, _my_ husband, and _my_ kitchen are completely and strictly _mine.”_  
  
  
The possessiveness and subtle affection left Stretch’s soul fluttering. “You won’t even share me with Pancake?” He teased, holding the door open for his husband, “But what if I _want_ to be shared with Pancake?”  
  
  
“Is that what you think?” Edge scoffed, striding into Undyne’s clinic with a knowing smirk, “How arrogant! To think I’d share _my_ baby with __you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RVR! The series where all your good intentions and good advice end up hurting the very people you were trying to help- with tons of collateral damage! Good thing this is a happy series where everyone ends up communicating and trying to do better next time! :'D
> 
> Thank you so very much for your readership and support! <3 Your kudos and comments mean the world to me, and inspire me to keep developing (hehehe) the RVR! See you in the next installment!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. :,D  
> Red Velvet Reel has a [tumblr](https://redvelvetreel.tumblr.com/) now! Come say hi and see some sneak previews! <3


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